


First and Last

by Grave



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, slightly PWP, with happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grave/pseuds/Grave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There weren't a lot of things Aomine regretted. But one of the few things he did - was Kise.</p><p> </p><p>[Overworked the grammar a bit. Split it into two chapters for ~aesthetic~ reasons.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for the Aokise Week Day 1 "First/Last" but I am sadly too slow for challenges like this, so here, have it nearly one week later haha
> 
> To be honest I cannot even say if this is good or bad. I just wanted to get this thing DONE.
> 
> As always the warning - I didn't have a beta reader and English is not my native language~

Aomine regretted some things in his life. But who didn’t really? Who didn’t have something to look back to and regret with all their heart? In general Aomine tried to avoid those things. But as it always happened with things you consciously try to avoid, they came back biting you in the ass. Cosmic irony or something like that. 

 

You would imagine that there weren’t many things to regret or feel sad about for Aomine at the evening he was sitting in his favorite restaurant, all his friends gathered at a table - something that happened so rarely these past years - celebrating one of Aomine’s greatest moments. After playing three successful years in the Japanese basketball league he had been scouted by a team from the states. His dream of playing in the NBA would be finally coming true. Tomorrow he would be sitting on the plane on his way to the USA. 

 

For this last evening, no matter how busy or far away from Tokyo, everyone had been able to make it. The whole former Generation of Miracles with the few select friends they were able to make along the way, had come together, all raising their glasses for Aomine. On this evening even his cheeks started to hurt from all the laughing and grinning.

 

What was there to regret in that precious timeframe between late evening and early morning hours, in that blissful state just before drunk, surrounded by the people you loved? Aomine Daiki, in his early twenties, successful and happy and living his dream - what was there to regret?

 

It came in the shape of a blond man with amber eyes, sitting across from him at the table, with a smile so bright, leaving his eyes so dull, avoiding Aomine’s gaze all night, arriving so late that Aomine had already thought he wouldn’t come at all. 

 

His regrets had a name and it was Kise Ryouta. 

 

Kise had arrived for Aomine’s farewell dinner nearly two hours too later after everyone had already eaten. He had been drenched by the rain, wearing casual but surely expensive designer clothes and he apologized at least a hundred times, telling some lie about a late photo shoot that took too long when it was clear that he came from home and not from some studio. No one seemed to notice or at least no one seemed to care enough. Some jokes were made, Kise played along with mock protests and complaints, and he squeezed himself into the group as if he had been there from the beginning. 

 

He regretted that after nearly a year this was the first time he saw Kise again and he must have been staring a little too long at the blond, because Satsuki gave him a mild kick under the table, shooting him that look that made Aomine slightly nauseas.

 

 

 

»Dai-chan, is everything alright?«, Satsuki would ask him during a little break when he accompanied her outside for a smoke, occasionally stealing a drag from her cigarette, because this was his party and he should be allowed to have some self-indulgence before he needed to follow an even stricter fitness routine. »It’s because of Ki-chan, isn’t it?«

There was no point in hiding it really. She had been his best friend and better half for all his life, there was simply no point in lying to her. »Yeah.«, he admitted, blowing the smoke in the rain. 

»Please don’t do anything stupid today, Dai-chan. Nothing good could come out if it.« , she said and stole the cigarette back from him and kept it this time, surprisingly capable of denying Aomine what he wanted even with her size.

 

 

 

But Aomine had been always so bad when it came to taking Satsuki’s advice, even after all those years and being proven that she was right over and over again. This was probably why he was insisting at the end of the evening that he would be the one to get Kise home safely. It was somewhere in those fuzzy in between hours around 3am and everyone was by now so tired that they just wanted to go home. There were no protests coming, not even from Satsuki, who was practically already passed out at Tetsu’s side.

 

 

Everyone said their goodbyes, promises to visit and write and call are swapped once more. It probably would be a very long time until they would see each other all together like that again, but still Aomine couldn’t really feel sad as he hugged every single one of them, even Kagami that idiot and Midorima, that stubborn snob. 

 

Despite the rain and the goodbyes this was a night/morning where Aomine should regret nothing, but his regrets were sharing a cab with him.

 

 

Somewhere around the third cocktail, Kise had stopped avoiding him and the tension he had carried in his shoulders slipped away. During the fifth cocktail the first »Aominecchi« slipped out of him and then there was just no stopping him. Aomine didn’t want to think too hard about what it meant that Kise could only open up again, let his guard down, when he was drunk. 

 

 

»I have watched every single one of Aominecchi’s games.«, Kise said to the ceiling of the cab, with his head put on Aomine’s lap, warm and heavy and smelling of rain. He just blurted it out like that. »You are still really amazing.«

 

»Thanks.« was all Aomine said to that because he just couldn’t ask why Kise never followed his invitations, never used the VIP tickets Aomine was sending him the first two years for the games, only replying with half assed excuses via text messages, containing too many smileys with ugly faces  - _cannot make it, don’t have time, something came in between, I am not in time, good luck_. Aomine understood in a way that in a basketball stadium too many crushed and lost dreams polluted the air. Maybe it had been insensitive of him. Maybe he should have never asked.

 

Kise smiled up at him and Aomine couldn’t help but stare at him. His lashes were still as long as ever and even though he was drunk and exhausted, he still was as handsome as ever. Blond hair framing his face, shorter since the last time. His features have matured. He lost a little of that ›Perfect Boyfriend‹ look they were always aiming for in the magazines, but Aomine couldn’t say he doesn’t like it. His lips curved in that pretty way and they were stained slightly red by the ridiculous cocktails he had been drinking this evening and the cherries he had been sucking on. 

 

There were some things you shouldn’t do in the early hours of the day you would be going on a ten hour flight across the ocean, into a new life, uncertain when you’d be back the next time. 

 

What Aomine would regret the most is probably that the first time he kissed Kise was in front of his apartment, sometime between 3 and 4am. That he waited nearly ten years to do it, just to do it cowardly like this. When Kise was so drunk and vulnerable, that there was no risk at all to it. They hadn’t seen each other for a year – except that Aomine saw Kise every day when he looked out of the panorama front of his own apartment and saw the big advertisement with the blond’s face on it. 

 

There had been nothing to fill the gap between them when basketball wasn’t an excuse anymore. Either they could jump or be too scared. They had been very scared. At least Aomine had been. To look at what was left of their relationship, their friendship when basketball needed to be taken out of the equation.

 

 

There were just too many things to regret about this right now. The time and the place and the whole circumstances and how Satsuki had told him not to do it. She should know that it only always led to Aomine doing the exact opposite. 

 

But it was also Kise’s fault, for still being so handsome and going along with every stupid fucked up think Aomine wanted to do.

 

It was also Kise who didn’t let go of him, even when Aomine, in a short moment of clarity, pushed him away, wanted to leave it at one kiss and not make things even worse. 

»No.«, Kise said and there was something insistent and burning and honest in his amber eyes. He didn’t look drunk at all. »No.«, he repeated as he fumbled for the keys in his pockets, with one hand still buried in the fabric of Aomine’s leather jacket.

 

 

 

»You should have come to one of my games.«, Aomine said as he shifted out of his jacket and shoes, setting foot into an apartment he didn’t see the inside of for nearly three years. After he helped Kise move in, he never sat a foot in it again. It looked different now, different furniture, different atmosphere. But it smelled like Kise and it still, in a way, looked like Kise. 

 

»I really don't want to talk, Aominecchi, if that's alright with you.«

 

 

 

It should be more awkward, it should be more difficult really. But if he was honest he didn’t want to talk either and he didn’t want to catch even five seconds to think about what they are doing. All he really wanted to do was touch Kise now. 

 

He never had partners who had the same size as him and never ones where not a big rack was in the way from feeling their whole body pressed against his. But Kise was right there, nose to nose, heartbeat to heartbeat, looking in his eyes like he was reluctant to search for something, not sure if he wanted to find anything. He liked that the other was for once not fooling around, hiding behind little coy plays and sweet smiles, acting naïve. He liked this Kise better, who was focused and in charge and didn’t pretend. 

 

Kise’s kisses were anything but sweet and the way he held Aomine’s head in place wasn’t tender - they are all teeth and unspoken frustration that couldn’t leave the room between them. Kise was demanding and when Aomine cursed the moment the blond’s teeth cut his lip and it was mostly pain and no pleasure, Kise simply smirked, raising an eyebrow, challenging – and it was just everything and nothing Aomine had ever wanted. 

 

 

 

Even though the apartment may look different, he still found his way to the bedroom. Everything in there changed as well, but what caught Aomine’s eyes was the one constant. There were still the colorful handprints on the wall above the bed. At the housewarming party Kise had demanded that everyone should leave their mark. No one could have possibly refused. All the colors of the rainbow were there and he saw his own print in dark blue, nestled between Satsuki’s pink one and Kise’s own yellow print. He didn’t really know what to think about that. 

 

So he rather focused on how Kise softly moaned into his mouth the moment Aomine slipped his hands under his still slightly damp shirt. His skin was hot and soft, just like you would imagine it, the way it probably got pampered by too many stylists and masseuses and whatever else a successful model got as beauty treatment when he wanted. He took his time, brushing his fingers up and down Kise’s spine, pressing into the muscles and making the other curve towards him.

 

»Kise.«, Aomine breathed, not quite sure what he wanted to say or if he just wanted to test the other’s name on his tongue. There should be something said, he he thought, he should say something and he should stop this, but he couldn’t. He was too selfish.

 

»Shh.«, Kise seemed to have the exact some opinion as he turned and pushed Aomine down on the bed, the surface softly wobbling under his ass. Of course someone like Kise would own a damn water bed. »No talking.« 

 

It was all kinds of strange to hear a ›not talking‹ rule coming out of Kise’s mouth who usually could never ever stop talking even for a minute and was communicative like no one else. So Aomine shut his mouth. After all he didn’t know what to say. That this has been something he had wanted to do for a very long time, that he felt too hot, too tense with anticipation, almost high with the feeling of Kise’s touch. The voice that suggested he could have all had this earlier if Kise was so willing now, got pushed far into a dark corner. This was now. This was them now, in the present.

 

A soft smile formed on Kise’s lips, teasing, the room was too dark and the only light coming through the large windows of the bedroom, obscured the amber eyes. Like a sinuous cat, Kise peeled himself out of his clingy shirt, revealing endless planes of smooth, unblemished skin. In the past there always would have been some kind of bruise, basketball being not exactly a sport that can be played without any body contact, especially not in their after-practice sessions. But even now, he was still perfectly trained and fit. His job probably didn’t allow anything else. His chest was remarkably flat, Aomine needed to admit, but he didn’t really care. Even without a pair of tits he wanted to touch, rub those little perfect nipples between his fingers, see if Kise sighed.

And he did.

 

His jeans were hanging low and and tight and when Kise started to open them, Aomine shook his head, no matter how much he would like a strip show, he really, really wanted to be the one to get that piece of fabric from Kise’s body. He reached out. For a moment it looked like Kise would slip away from him, but then the blond let himself be pulled closer by his belt loops until he stood between Aomine’s spread legs, looking down on him. For a second there was complete stillness between them. Their eyes meeting. Aomine hadn’t even noticed how tense Kise’s face had been, a soft frown, clenched jaw. He didn’t know what it was supposed to mean.

 

His heart was beating hard in his chest, his thumbs drew small circles on Kise’s hips, just above the fabric of his jeans, where his bones dipped into a v shape. »Kise.«, he said again, »Is this ok?« 

Aomine had never been one to ask for permission for anything. He did the things he wanted and got the things he liked and if not he had no interest in them anymore. Life had been quite easy for him so far. Especially when it came to Kise, he never asked. He just demanded. Took things for granted. Took Kise for granted.

 

The blond’s face softened, maybe a little melancholic. Long, slender fingers stroked through Aomine’s dark hair. It was such a gentle gesture that Aomine’s heart stopped for a beat and he closed his eyes. 

»Don’t ask stupid questions.« 

 

Kise sunk down into his lap, straddling him. The kiss now was so soft and tender, that Aomine was close to pulling away. His hands worked on removing Kise’s jeans, it took a little effort to get them down and off, but Kise was flexible enough to help him out without even breaking the kiss and the lazy game of their tongues. He wore nothing underneath his trousers. Aomine found this so irrationally sexy, that he broke the kiss with a moan. His hands were large enough to cup the perfect, perky cheeks of Kise’s ass. And kneading those was actually as good as a pair of tits.

 

 

The following happened in a heated daze as Kise freed Aomine of all his layers of clothes, placing his mouth on every new revealed bit with a reverence that was completely new to Aomine. The girls he knew always went straight to the basics, never wasted any time to see what else there was to explore, how sensitive Aomine was around his hips, how much he liked it when someone bit the inside of his thighs. Mostly it had gotten a routine with them. They sucked his dick, he used his fingers to get them wet, he fucked them, they whimpered his name like a porn star, he came, he made sure they’d come as well because he was no asshole and didn’t want them to complain. It was a quick affair and a good routine, mixed up only by the surface they did it on.  

But with Kise it was different. It wasn’t clear who was in charge really and Aomine didn’t even care for a good while that his cock was getting no attention because he was too fascinated by how their skin contrasted and how Kise’s hair brushed stomach, how warm the other was, how good he felt under his hands, how he arched and writhed and was so very alive, liquid as the heat rose between them gradually. And simply that it was  _Kise_. The boy he had known for such a long time. Stupid, noisy, over excited, eager, loyal, warm and bright Kise Ryouta. The boy who started playing basketball because Aomine threw a ball against his head. The boy he spent so many afternoons with, playing and playing. The boy Aomine never really called his friend or even realized he was his friend until he was gone. And Aomine was alone. 

 

He just didn’t want to let things go to waste anymore. He didn’t want to regret anymore.

 

Aomine looked down at Kise, with his cheeks flushed and his hair in a disarray, amber eyes wide and glazed over. He never saw something better. He just wanted to wreck him worse. Without hesitation and even though he technically never really done this himself, he slid down, licking a hot, wet path over Kise’s chest, to his navel until he came face to face with the blond’s hard cock. Even _that_ looked pretty and Aomine was in general not fan of cocks. But with Kise everything was pretty.  With his shoulders he pushed the blond’s legs apart, making himself enough room to take the other generously in his mouth, swallowing him up as far as he could take him just to hear Kise nearly choke on his name, dropping the ridiculous suffix. 

 

He had always been a fast learner when it came to practical stuff and he could apply what he knew he liked, what girls did to him - and Kise was so beautifully responsive that Aomine exactly knew what felt good and what could be done even better. He sucked and licked until he could taste Kise on his mouth and he needed to hold the other’s hips down so he wouldn’t get choked. 

 

»Aominecchi, no - I am - please - « The string of words coming out of the other’s mouth was pretty incoherent but Aomine could understand the general gist. The face the blond was making was so much better now than either the fake mask of happy excitement he had been wearing through the whole evening, and a lot better than the tense, unrecognizable one he had made since Aomine kissed him, not to speak of the melancholic sadness that had flickered through his eyes when he had asked him if what they were doing was ok. That was all completely blown away by heavy heated lust. It looked really good on the other.

 

Though he was very, very tempted to just fuck it - because damn he really would like for the other to come into his mouth, somehow that was a pretty good thought, but on the other hand he really, really wants to  _fuck_  him.

 

»No. You will wait for me, Kise.« Aomine came back up from his position and with dissatisfaction he saw that there was something ugly and desolate look back on the other’s face. Even though he didn’t quite know what he said or did that caused that expression, Aomine felt like apologizing but Kise was fast to hide his emotions back under his typical poker face, a sly, seductive smirk playing around his lips.

 

»Then will Aominecchi fuck me?«, he asked in his usual nonchalant easy tone and fuck, that cheeky bastard knew apparently exactly how to play him. Yes, he wanted to. He really, really wanted to. He had wanted that for a long time, maybe even longer than he knew himself. But it was not the only thing he had wanted from Kise. But while those other things he wanted were harder to gain - he could have at least this now.

 

From the nightstand Kise procured lube and condoms and Aomine saw enough porn movies to know what to do with it, did have girls that way as well. He took his time to prepare the other, until Kise grew impatient and restless.

 

Aomine would regret it. He knew it. He would regret on the long run that he decided to do this, to sink for the first and probably last time into Kise at this time, at this place, in this moment. He would regret it. It was nothing like how he had always imagined it. Not how he had fantasized as a stupid boy, that one day he might have the courage to lean over to Kise when they were lying on his bed, trying to learn for their exams together. Not how he wanted to do after a particular exciting one-on-one with Kise who was always catching up so fast until they both just lay panting on the floor of the court, grinning like idiots. Not how he wished he could after they tried to salvage their relationship from the ruins Aomine left them in. Not how he should have done it after Kise closed himself off when the doctors brought him the worst possible results and the blond thought his life had ended.

 

No, he was doing it now, with a thick awful wall of unspoken things between them, where he didn’t even know if Kise still liked him or just indulged him or was too drunk to care. And Aomine hated himself just the tiniest bit for still liking it, for groaning and clenching his fist in the sheets besides Kise’s head as he pushed further and further into the tight, perfect heat.

 

It sounded stupid and Aomine never believed in bullshit like that - but this was probably what people talk about, when they said ›the time stood still in that moment‹. 

 

It wasn’t particularly one of his best fucks, it was certainly not something he could be proud of or should be proud of. It was messy and it was too hard and it was too desperate and it was way, way too fast. He should have taken his time and made this really good, but it came crashing too hard over him - Kise underneath him, clinging to his shoulders and just as far gone as him, as unable to make this something special and good - it really was no use to even try.

 

They fucked like there was no tomorrow for them and like it shouldn’t mean anything. The hitch lay in the fact that the first might be true but the last certainly wasn’t. It made Aomine’s head spin as he pushed into Kise hard and relentlessly in a rhythm that was edging on selfish.

He would have the shape of Kise’s fingernails imprinted into his shoulder blades and the other’s bite marks edged into his neck for days and that was a really good thing, because it would force him to remember this every time he took off his shirt and if he was particularly unlucky even when he was wearing one. But the punishment seemed worth it, just to feel this wrapped up into the other, to have Kise moan underneath him, repeating his name like a mantra with every thrust. The long legs of the other were folded around his waist, holding him tight, with every movement he pushed against Aomine and clenched around him. 

 

The moment he realized he was close to coming, he took one of Kise’s legs, placing it over his shoulders to just get a slightly different angle, push a little bit deeper. The blond nearly cried in unison with him. Under his fingers he could feel the pattern of the white scar along Kise’s calf, up to his knee. The injury that forced Kise to give up the mere hope of a professional basketball career.

 

Of all things he might regret and might want to change - this was the one thing Aomine would sell his soul to change. He would do anything to go back in time and prevent this from happening, to give Kise his passion back. But he couldn’t.

 

Just as he couldn’t undo this night or take back the first kiss he stole at Kise’s doorstep. He couldn’t rewind the time, hope Kise never got injured and then do things differently. Take the other on some over the top romantic date, talk with him about all the things they have kept silent about, tell him how the first time they met it wasn’t really an accident, but very deliberate by Aomine. He would probably mess it up horribly anyway, but it wouldn’t matter - they are both not perfect and idiots and they would have made it work their way. He would have taken the time this deserves and the first time they fucked, he would have taken even more time, to study every last nook of Kise. He would jump this gap and it wouldn’t be about winning or loosing anymore. No need to compete for anything.

 

Instead he decided to do this and he came so violently with Kise trembling underneath him and his face turned away from Aomine.

 

And so this would be always their first and last.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kise opened his eyes the next morning, he still believed he must be dreaming. It took a while until he recognized his own bedroom again. His head swam a little and his body, even though he must have slept a good few hours, still felt completely exhausted and there was a tell tale soreness between his legs. When he turned to the side he looked into Aomine’s sleeping face.

 

He hadn’t wanted to come last night. He thought about a dozen excuses why he couldn’t make it and why he really couldn’t go to Aomine’s farewell party. But then Momoi had written him a text message, nearly pleading that he should come, it wouldn’t feel right to say goodbye to Aomine without him. Everyone would be there.

So Kise went. Late. But he came after all. 

 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Aomine. He knew that there was simply no way for him to give the other a hug and wish him good luck in the USA, give his best and make a few half assed promises to visit or at least be there when Aomine would surely come back to Japan the next time. 

 

There was just one thing he could never properly do, no matter how much he distracted himself or tried to occupy himself with different things - he was never able to let go of Aomine. No matter what name he gave it - the obsession, the crush, the rivalry, the friendship - no matter what shape their relationship had, he will never be able to let go of Aomine. Distance wouldn’t change that and it was proofed that time wouldn’t change that either.

 

With a sigh he carefully shifted closer and to his surprise, even though Aomine was very clearly asleep, the other made automatically room for him until their skin touched and their foreheads brushed and Kise could feel the regular rhythm of breath against his face. He closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the warmth Aomine radiated.

 

He had a million and one dream scenarios for this in his head. What he could do to make Aomine fall in love with him, to notice him like that. How it would be to kiss him, how it would be to sleep with him and wake up the next morning next to him.  

 

Kise had been stupid and desperate yesterday and very selfish. He would have done many things to get at least this one night from Aomine and now that he had it, he felt completely lost and empty. What had he done?

 

He had wanted this for so long and now that he had it, he could feel his eyes brimming with tears. Aomine would be gone tonight and Kise would be left once again with nothing. Just his own stupid broken heart. And as soon as Aomine would wake up, there wasn’t even a friendship to potentially save anymore. Kise had made sure over the last year, where he avoided Aomine constantly, that there was only some distant past left between them. He had been so cowardly and stupid, but after nearly a decade he couldn’t stand Aomine anymore. After pretending for years that one day might be the day he would scratch together enough courage and confess everything he felt for the other, he pretended for a year that nothing could ever happen between them anyway. 

 

Both were lies Kise lived with.

 

»Kise?« A very familiar voice, husky and rough with sleep, inquired lowly and with tears already trailing down his cheeks there was no way to hide them now from Aomine. He thought he stopped that habit - crying when he felt too frustrated with himself - but apparently Aomine could still bring the worst out of him. To try to save his dignity at least a little bit he turned his face into the pillow, tears soaking into the soft fabric.

 

Beside him he could feel Aomine’s weight shift like he was sitting up. 

Kise should have gotten up earlier, fled the bed, hidden from Aomine in the hope he other would have needed to leave his flat rather sooner than later anyway. There was a flight to catch after all.

 

Heavy silence hung between them and Kise prayed that Aomine would just leave without saying anything. He couldn’t bear to hear some excuse - _I was drunk, this was a mistake, I need to go_ \- Aomine should just leave him here alone. It was what he always did and Kise, in a way, appreciated it - that Aomine prevented them from showing their weaknesses. 

 

But seeing Aomine yesterday, after all this time and how the other barely changed, was still the same idiot Kise had fallen in love with all those years ago - this had just messed with his head and all his good intentions. He didn’t want Aomine to talk yesterday, because he was so afraid that if Aomine started really thinking about what he was doing, he would realize what a big stupid mistake this was and push Kise away - 

He fucked this up. He fucked this up so bad. 

 

 

»I fucked this up, didn’t I?« 

 

Confused Kise turned his head to the side. Aomine was sitting next to him with his face buried in his hands, but from his angle Kise can see how his jaw was tense and how he worried his bottom lip with his teeth. »What…?« 

 

Aomine drew in a deep breath and sat up a little straighter. With new resolve he looked at Kise. »Okay. Listen. I need to say this now.« 

 

»Aominecchi, no-« This didn’t make any sense to Kise and he didn’t want to hear what Aomine had to say. He pushed himself up on one arm, with the other trying to hastily scrub the tears from his face.

 

»Shut up!« 

Kise flinched a little back by the sheer force in Aomine’s voice, the sudden anger in his blue eyes. »I - no, please, shut up, I need to talk now, Kise.«, he carefully started over, making a visible effort now to stay calm. Carefully, like he didn’t want to scare a shy animal, Aomine reached out and brushed with a thumb over Kise’s cheeks.

 

»I have been stupid. And I regret what we did last night.« 

 

Kise could feel new tears threatening to fall again the moment he heard Aomine say this, but the other was very quick to shake his head and continue - »Not in the way that I didn’t want to…uh…damn, this is so annoying…not in the way that I didn’t want to have sex with you. Or do this with you. Because, damn, I wanted to, I wanted to really fucking bad. But -« Every word seemed to be an even bigger struggle for Aomine. It was curious to watch, because usually the other was so straight forward with his words and didn’t shy away from uncomfortable topics or make his standing clear.

»I didn’t want it to happen like this. Not with you. What I want to say is- yeah…what I want to say…« 

 

Kise held his breath. Now he didn’t dare to say anything. This all seemed so surreal and the point where Aomine was still cupping his face with his one hand felt very warm. 

 

»I love you, Kise. And this was not how I wanted to do this. Because you deserved something else. I fucked this up. I am sorry. So….yeah… I said it.«

 

This knocked the breath right out of him. Of all things he thought Aomine was going to say, he never thought he would hear that out of the other’s mouth. Slowly he worked himself into a sitting position, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Aomine, who now averted his gaze, staring stubbornly at an uncertain point on the blanket. It took some time until Aomine’s words really sunk in and they left him behind dazed.

 

Apparently both of them, even in their early twenties were still the same ignorant, stupid boys like they were in junior high. 

 

»I always thought Aominecchi meant so much for me but I never meant anything for Aominecchi.« This time it was Kise who hushed Aomine when he wanted to interrupt him. »I thought if I competed with Aominecchi, he would notice me. I thought if I kept my distance, Aominecchi would take interest. And I thought if I tried to forget you, one day I could really manage that.« He is sounding so stupid, and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop now that he started. It was just all coming out at once. »I cannot regret that this happened. I cannot regret anything that happened with you. And I…I really cannot say goodbye to you, Aominecchi. I just can’t.« 

 

Kise leaned his forehead against the other’s shoulder and even though a few single tears rolled down his cheeks, he was smiling and his heart was fluttering. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

 

»I love you, too, Aominecchi. I have for a long time.« He lifted his head and now he was looking Aomine directly in the eyes. They were both grinning now. »So. I said it, too.« 

 

Just like this it felt like an impossible weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

 

 

Of course things couldn’t change so easily and Aomine’s flight was still going this evening, but in this moment, on this morning with the bright sun of the midday shining through the windows, he felt deliriously, incredibly, impossibly happy. 

 

Aomine softly chuckled and leaned his forehead against Kise’s. Their eyes locked. This time they met somewhere in the middle, both leaning in at the same time.

 

Maybe this could count as the first kiss of many more. 


End file.
